This is not a lottery - trying to live with fear of recurrence
I imagine surgery, especially the anesthesia part, is really still at play in my psychological system. It has been less than two weeks, after all, since saying goodbye to any opportunity for more children (Yay! ahem) and goodbye to my shape. Thank goodness I was never very curvaceous, as it makes for less of a transition. I am already at the point where I can look in the mirror without cringing, though, when I come out of the shower. In fact, I'm feeling love for what I see. Thank you Dr. Susan Troyan, at Dana Farber. She did a wonderful job with an infrequently demanded result: nipple sparing mastectomies with no reconstruction. My logic for no reconstruction is that I loved my breasts, and did not love replacement ones. They would never have been the same, not even close, and would have led to more major surgery. No, I'll pass. And I am happy with my decision. But, as I said in my last blog post, the surgery is done, and now... I am scared, I have to confess. Pa