Thursday, September 5, 2013

Landscape painting, comparing myself to others

I have had a good life, so far. I have traveled a fair bit, eaten some good food, loved some wonderful people and animals.

That doesn't stop me from comparing myself to others. Notably one other, a woman ten years my junior. The woman had a successful (in that she could support at least one person on her income) career as an artist, and then she became a best selling author. She plays celtic music. She rides horses. Unbelievably, two kids. Even a shared affinity for cookie dough. I'm talking about Maggie Stiefvater. Here is one of her acrylic paintings. Sketches here. Great interview, one hour long, here.

Fountain Bookstore, by Maggie Stiefvater

And here is her blog on how she accomplishes it all.

What have I been doing with my time? Yes, I'm dealing with cancer, chemo, mortality, yada yada. But before that?

So, this is where being kind to myself comes in -- a radical concept -- and I think the following things:

1. I struggle with depression and anxiety, which tend not to be helpful when inviting rejection from galleries and agents.
2. My childhood and young adulthood were fairly messy. Maybe good for creating subject matter, but bad for creating early success.
3. I'm scatterbrained.
4. I lack discipline, and the corollary,
5. I dislike routine.
6. Most importantly: Who cares about the past? There is only ever now.

Back to Ms. Maggie Stiefvater. I will permit myself a little hero worship, but I'll try not to beat myself up about being other than where I am.

I managed another little sketch from Roger Williams Park today. Here it is.

Oh, and I forgot: A beautiful painted animation by Maggie Stiefvater that is really inspiring me to create another paint animation this autumn.

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